Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a mighty traffic island.
What was designed as a traffic divider has become a uniter. Rock Island, as it is now dubbed, is entertaining the meme streets of Valparaiso.
The number of accidents there, with vehicles getting stuck on the boulders, has brought Rock Island local fame.
Anna Hearn, of Valparaiso, enjoys her Starbucks. She also enjoys looking out at the traffic going in and out of the parking lot for Strack & Van Til on U.S. 30 and the many other businesses there.
About once a month, a vehicle lands on Rock Island, she said.
Hearn is the one who began making the traffic median above average. She named it Rock Island.
After hearing the suggestion that someone should create a Facebook account for it, her friend Marco Trevino, who lives near that intersection, created the Rock Island page last week. It’s getting a lot of traffic online. Already, it has more than 3,400 followers.
A Popcorn Festival float is in the works after an application for the parade was approved.
The nearby Starbucks has created the Rock Island Frappuccino in its honor.
“As you guide your straw thru the thick ‘NWI smog,’ you’ll find the deliciousness of ‘the paved road,’ and then BAM!! You’ll hit the rocks…” reads the description on the Rock Island Facebook page.
Just how many vehicles get stuck there is difficult to quantify. Capt. Joe Hall of the Valparaiso Police Department went through a few years’ worth of reports and found few from Rock Island. Drivers who get stuck often call a tow truck rather than police.
Chris Sandberg, of Sandberg’s Towing & Recovery, is very familiar with that intersection.
“It’s a really crazy intersection to begin with,” he said. West Street is a frontage road that closely parallels U.S. 30. Rock Island is just south of the frontage road, dividing the lanes going in and out of the parking lot.
“Those rocks really don’t do anything,” he said. “Just pave over it. Be done with it. Stop crashing people’s cars.”
Large rocks are a familiar traffic control device. People often put big rocks on a corner to keep vehicles off their lawns. But elderly drivers, especially, don’t see as well. Most of the drivers stranded on Rock Island are older, Sandberg observed.
![Rock Island has become the talk of the town in Valparaiso, with residents talking about the lane divider near U.S. 30 at Coolwood Plaza that has attracted so many cars and now comical decorations. (Doug Ross/for Post-Tribune)](https://i0.wp.com/www.chicagotribune.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/PTB-L-ROCK-ISLAND-0524-01-rotated.jpg?fit=620%2C9999px&ssl=1)
“They get a tire up over the curb and it just pulls them in,” he said.
“I’ve seen a few cracked oil pans,” Sandberg said, but there’s often little or no damage to the vehicle. It costs around $75 to $125 to get tugged off Rock Island, depending on the situation.
Cassandra Bajek, spokesperson for the Indiana Department of Transportation’s LaPorte district, lives in Valparaiso and knows that intersection well. INDOT doesn’t have plans to make any changes to the intersection soon. Nor does Valparaiso, city engineer Max Rehlander said.
The developer for that shopping center, Weiss Entities, has plans for Rock Island, Trevino said, but hasn’t announced them yet.
Meanwhile, Rock Island has inspired a lot of fun.
A couple celebrated their 30th anniversary on Rock Island, posting photos that prove that even though their marriage might not be on the rocks, their anniversary was.
Rock Island T-shirts have been printed.
A nearby store, Island Nutrition, created the Rock Island Fizz drink.
A Spotify playlist for Rock Island has been created. Someone suggested making B-52s’ “Rock Lobster” the official Rock Island song.
One of the memes that made Trevino laugh the hardest was the Titanic sinking after striking Rock Island.
“My wife calls me nuts every day,” he said. “I started telling her more things that I’ve seen on Rock Island on the page, and she’ll laugh about stuff and she shakes her head at me every day.” Now she’s sending him updates on posts she’s seen on the page.
“You started a monster here,” Trevino’s wife told him.
When Trevino bought groceries recently, the cashier recognized him and said she joined Facebook just to visit the Rock Island page.
“It’s hilarious. It’s getting to the point now we’re on Google and Trip Advisor as a popular destination for Valpo,” Trevino said.
“I’m not taking all the credit for this. I just created the page. It’s been a collective effort by the members to keep it going and have fun with it and create all the memes,” he said.
Trevino isn’t sure how long Rock Island’s 15 minutes of fame will last, but for now, Rock Island is on a roll.
Doug Ross is a freelance reporter for the Post-Tribune.