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May I Be Excused? Killing your darlings


My dog Beans managed to tear her ACL chasing squirrels around the backyard. Her surgery appointment was weeks away and after a couple days of carrying the 60lb German Shepherd mix up and down the stairs, I started having sharp knee pains of my own.

I don’t necessarily blame the dog. It was bothering me a little beforehand and nowadays I’ve come to accept any injury I sustain as more of a lifetime achievement, sans any award.

Naturally, Beans soon discovered she could get around reasonably well on three legs and now I’m jealous I don’t have the built-in crutches that she does. I’m no doctor, but I am over 50, which comes with a certain diagnostic skill set, so I’m guessing I have a partially torn meniscus. This is woefully common for people my age. I mean, if you haven’t torn a meniscus by now, are you even trying?

The weird thing about this injury is that some days it’s essentially fine while I spend others pining for my wraparound ice pack. Of course, I’d love to continue to exercise and you know, bend my knee without pain. But my understanding is that a doctor will assess my injury and my age and suggest I could either have surgery or just sort of deal with it, in a friendly, “you’ve-had-a-good-run” kind of way.

This is true, I have had a good run. But like many folks navigating mid-life and beyond, it’s tough to be told you can no longer do the things you love to do. For example, over the past 14 years, I’ve tried my hand at being an Atlanta Intown columnist and it has been a fantastic ride. But I’ve been informed my column will “sunset” with the 30th anniversary issue in November. I’m bummed out about this but at the same time, I get it.

There’s an expression in writing that says “kill your darlings.” For me, that meant editing out those bits in rough drafts that I found clever or funny but perhaps didn’t necessarily serve the story. It’s never easy but as I’ve matured as a writer I understand the practice more and more. Atlanta Intown Paper/Rough Draft Atlanta is changing in ways that keep up with the speed of news which makes sense at a time when this business is extremely challenging. And in this instance, it seems, my column is the darling that is meeting the editing floor.

When raising kids, the days are long yet the years go by so fast. Left undocumented, it might have all been a blur for me. It still is a bit fuzzy but chronicling some stories and thoughts along the way has made it less so. I’m thankful to Atlanta Intown for giving me this opportunity to share those essays here. And for those who have connected with these stories, let me tell you, THAT is the balm that soothes any self-doubting writer. It is why we write to begin with so I am forever grateful to those who have read along.

There’s no telling what will happen with my knee, but my writing muscles should hold up for a while longer. At the moment I’m unsure where these words will live but there will be more words. Who knows? Maybe there will be another publication out there that just has to have the monthly musings of a middle-aged man? I’ll toss in the alliteration for free!

We still have until the November issue together though. There will be a handful more stories to be told (if not in print they can be found online) and I’ll be sure to let you know how Beans’ recovery from surgery goes. If there are any topics you want me to touch upon or you just want to say hi, shoot me an email. Again, THANK YOU all so much for reading. It has meant more to me than you’ll ever know.



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